Is This Working?

Wow. It has been a while since I have written anything. I don't know why, maybe its because I feel like this is just a waste. I was hoping that it would help someone, someone like me. I guess I will give it some more time.

I really want to meet someone in person who has CAIS, or any kind of AIS really. It would be so comforting to be able to openly talk to someone about everything, and not have to worry about them not understanding, or having to explain myself. A lot of people in my life know now that I have this, but I don't feel like they can understand what it is like to go through this. I think the best example I can think of is the hormone replacement I have to go through. I'm on an estrogen patch, that isn't exactly the most friendly, but its the best option i've come across so far. The problem is that it not only irritates my skin, but it also makes me feel nauseous in the morning. So I often find myself going weeks without using it. My mom asks me quite often if I've been changing it, but I don't always do it. I feel like its not me. I kind of wish we would have waited to take my gonads out. Mainly because it was a lot less of a hassle back when I had them. I didn't have to worry about estrogen. And I don't know if this is a direct correlation, but I feel like getting them removed made me gain weight, because of the estrogen.